Snowflakes
by herzeleidx
Summary: Toshi meant mirror image. Their relationship was a little broken. [I think I might love you. I think I might love you too.] Past memories sometimes hurtSnowflakes still fall. [RikuxOC] I'm open to OC suggestions, so please help!


I kinda liked the way his nose would scrunch up in slight amused irritation as the baby tugged on his hair, gurgling with enjoyment as he hissed in pain at a unusually strong tug.

She was her father's daughter.

I was supposed to be doing paperwork, but it was too cute. Especially when he would whine at me. But it had been silent for awhile, only the short, soft breaths of a sleeping baby and the clock ticking on the wall could be heard. He had cuddled her to sleep, cooing at her and rocking her. I don't think I'd ever seen him so affectionate. I returned to my forms, filling them out with slight urgency, determined to get to bed on time tonight.

There was a shadow lingering above me and I glanced up through grown out light brown bangs, devilshed from my constant habit of running my hand through them.

"Stevie..." He blew at me quietly, holding the child close to him. His voice sometimes still stopped my heart.

But not wanting him to see my weakness I smiled lightly, "Hmm?'' Was my answer.

"Come to bed..." He commanded gently. Oh, how I wanted to say yes. I was terribly exhausted, I could practically hear the bed calling me, but I needed this to be finished. I knew I wouldn't do it any other time if I didn't do it now.

Slowly I shook my head, offering him a grin, "No, I've gotta finish."

His lips curved in a concerned frown, he eased the child in his arms to one arm, her head resting on his shoulder.

The image was just too adorable.

He reached forward, snatching the pen out of my hands and I raised my head in slight surprise, slight amusement since I could have guessed. He never liked hearing no, that about him hadn't changed.

"Heey..." I protested meekly, not having the energy to fight with him tonight. Though, technically, it wasn't really something to argue about since he only confiscated my writing utencil. It wasn't like he was leaving.

I winced, my teeth biting down on my lower lip. _Bad comparison..._

He flipped silver bangs out of his eyes, but they fell back again. This time he ignored them; staring at me he sighed. "You haven't slept for two days. You won't finish the paper if you don't get some rest.''

I glanced back down, knowing he was right. I just didn't want to lose myself with him, it could happen again. And I couldn't take that, not another time. I knew he came back because he felt bad, because he left me with no where to go, no money, nothing. He had grown to love his daughter in the past few weeks, instead of resenting her. I enjoyed watching him build a bond with her, able to see he wasn't all bad, and what he did wasn't out of spite.

That didn't mean I had taken a step in fixing our relationship.

I didn't really know whether he wanted to be back with me, he was like that book you saw your older brother or sister reading. You heard them gush about it, and got curious. But the words were too big, the plotline too confusing for such a young mind. Difficult to read. On some mornings I'd wake up to coffee and a quick peck on the lips, and some nights he'd lay with Toshi and I as we watched TV. Other times it'd be an almost incoherent "hi'' and barely a "good night''.

If that wasn't enough to make me unsure, I'm not sure what else could be. Truthfully, I didn't know if I wanted to be with him again either, when he left...It really killed me. I felt so betrayed, so alone. I was young, and I'd never felt so lost in my life, no one was there for me to fall back on. And yes, I'll admit I'd even thought about comitting suicide, but I thought about exactly what was going on. I wasn't going to be only killing myself, but someone else.

That I couldn't do, even if he wasn't there, I could do it myself. I got a hold of some friends and family and they helped a lot. I found a job and worked until my doctor said I shouldn't anymore. For the first time since he had been gone, I was happy. And when Toshi had been born...I didn't know what to feel. She looked so much like him, so beautiful, but a constant reminder. But I had to forget him, I had to stay sane for my sake and hers.

I did a fine job of holding myself together for the first four months of Toshi's life, that was, until he showed up. Then the world I had built without him suddenly stopped spinning and I found myself back in the place I had begun. During the first two weeks of his return I had locked myself away from him, hating him for coming back and ruining the world I had worked so hard to create. But he didn't leave like before, he stayed and took care of his daughter while I wallowed in my moment of depression.

But I realized I was being a horrible mother to my beloved daughter because of my own issues, and that wasn't fair. So without speaking to him we both began taking care of _our _daughter. After a few days though, he spoke to me. He apologized and I was tempted to say he was wasting his breath, but our daughters happiness was our main priority. So I told him he was forgiven, and from there he grew closer with his daughter and to a certain extent, me.

And here we were now.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. He wasn't implying that he wanted to me to sleep in my own bed while he slept in the guest room. He wanted to sleep in the _same _bed. He wanted to spend the night with me. It wasn't _go _to bed, it was _come _to bed.

I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

"Please..." His eyes were pleading me, his voice holding a slight tone of urgency, like he needed to tell me something important. I chewed on my lip, another bad habit of mine and twisted a lock of hair around my fingers.

"I don't know...this is really-..."

He interrupted me, using that sweet, honey-thick voice he used to use to get me to do _other things _with him. "C'mon Steve..." He coaxed, walking over and placing his hand on my arm.

Yeah, tonight was one of those good nights.

Sighing in drowsy defeat I stood up and stretched and without a word walked off to my room. I could tell he was grinning by the way he said, "I'm just gonna put Toshi to bed."

About five minutes later the door creaked open and he stepped in, shutting it behind him. In the dim light I could see him glancing around almost nervously, like he was in forbidden territory. But the look passed and he crept over to where I lay snuggled in the warm covers. My room was always cold for some reason. Perhaps it was that he was never there.

"Did you turn on the baby moniter?" I questioned while yawning.

"Yeah." His voice was smooth, erasing all current thoughts. I barely managed an "okay".

For a moment there was no movement, and I briefly wondered if somehow he had managed to sneak out without me noticing, but there was a shift of weight behind me, and then, an arm curled around my body, pulling me back against him. I almost stopped breathing. His breath passed over my neck as he slid his other hand up my arm, then his fingers traced the curve of my jaw. I couldn't help it, my body shivered with enjoyment, arching closer. His arm rested snugly against my hips, his one leg strewn out over top mine a bit as his fingers massaged the back of my neck.

"I never hated you..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, please, not now. Not when I'm letting you do this and it feels so good...

He continued without another word, and my mind started getting a bit hazy. Things started feeling very surreal as he laid me on my back and crawled on top, his hips alining perfectly with mine. His tongue flicked the curve of my earlobe, earning a soft sigh from me and I could feel him smirking against my skin, his lips at the crook of my neck. He pressed affectionate kisses all along my neck and despite my fears of this before I couldn't find it in me to stop him.

My t-shirt came off easily, as well as my sweatpants, we weren't in a rush, that was obvious since he had only had gotten as far as my shoulders before he decided my lips needed raping. I kissed him with such ease, loving the thrill my body received as his tongue twisted slowly with mine, our saliva mixing and creating a kind of spectacular taste. His teeth nibbled on my lower lip, a cute innocent display of sexual affection. Don't ask me how THAT works.

My fingers ran through his hair, giving a slight gasp as he pinched my side. I was instantly reminded of when we were younger, memories I tried not to think about. We were pretty wild back then. He broke the kiss, staring down at me fondly, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"Dear God you're beautiful..." He breathed, beginning to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. It surprised me and excited me at the same time. It was unlike him, maybe he really had changed.

I started giggling mercilessly, gripping the front of his shirt and pulling his face close to mine. His breath smelled strongly of mint, overwhelming my sense, "Stop." I scolded playfully, feeling like I was in high school again, "You're embarrassing me."

He chuckled, his lips settling in a pleased grin, "Good." I squirmed, smiling up at him, he leaned down, capturing my lips in a quick kiss. We were almost like a newlywed couple, laughing and kissing and touching; **_exploring_**. I adored the attention, so long I had gone without being loved or cuddled. _I need affection too..._And though I was afraid, and though I didn't trust him completely, he was here and giving me what I had longed for.

But enjoyment quickly faded into fear as our contact got a little more heated. Our clothes were off and he had me pinned, his hands gripping my wrists, preventing me from moving. I struggled uncomfortably, my head starting to swirl in panic. I could easily remember the night I told him I was pregnant, the night he left. The memory cut deep into my mind, the familiar searing pain strong as ever.

I remembered how he had first looked furious, then became strangely calm and reserved. He didn't say anything as he shoved me down onto the couch and proceeded to have sex with me, it was terrible. To see some like him so enraged and so frightened. I'm still not sure whether I was willing or not...But after, he left without a word, but clearly telling me all I was worth.

He arched his back, those lovely lips of his curled in a smirk as he shifted his hips against mine. I went ridged in fright, the back of my throat burning with bile that my stomach threatened to heave up. My head throbbed and I was sweating, but my skin was ice cold. I could feel the tears as they spilled down my face, but I didn't bother to hide them. I'd let him know I was afraid, no more running. I was terrified of him, and I hated it.

Almost immediately I felt myself being lifted and drawn close to his body, his hand caressing through my hair. "Stevie..." He said quietly but in alarm, as if not to disturb the lurking demons. "Oh Stevie, I'm sorry..." He sounded so concerned, so much like a caring husband. So...in love.

I cried harder.

"Too soon, too soon..." He murmured, rocking me slowly. I buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing. I didn't know what to do, what to think. I was petrified of feeling that way again, even though he came back for me, and for his daughter, if I were to have another child, would he leave?

Choking sounds escaped my throat as I attempted to catch my breath, he gripped my chin staring into my eyes. I let out another wail. "Shhshhhshhh...'' He crooned, his enchanting aqua eyes pentatrating my thoughts and for I moment, I forgot to breathe.

"I-you-we..."

He put a finger to my lips, silently commanding me to be quiet. I obeyed, hiccuping as I tried to silence my cries. He leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss to my forehead, I collapsed into his arms and he laid us both down, pulling me closely.

"I hurt you so much..." His voice was strained with guilt, sadness, and a tint of helplessness. "I told you I'd never do that...Oh God..."

I let myself go, showing him the scars. I had been lying when I said that we just had to start over new, forget everything and begin again.

_**The first step of fixing a problem is admitting there is one.**_

There was a problem, and we couldn't make to go away by pretending it wasn't there. If we wanted to live together again, we had to rebuild, and to do that, we had to face old pains. We'd have to face those demons.

"I-I-I'm sorry..." I managed through chattering teeth and he shook his head, silver strands of hair tickling my face.

"No...I...I understand..." He put his fingers under my chin, lifting my face to look at him, "I hurt you...But Stevie...I'm not here to do that again. I-I don't plan on leaving. I've come here to fix what I've broken, and mend the wounds I caused." He took a deep breath and let it out shortly, "I...I think I might love you."

It wasn't definate. But it was enough to send me into tears again.

"I think I might love you too."

We fell asleep soon after, not completely happy, we still had some challenges to face. But we were getting there. No one's perfect.

---

The next morning the smell of coffee greeted me and I smiled with closed eyes before opening them. Sitting up I stretched and looked over next to me, my heart leapt to my throat when I saw the note. Hesitantly I picked it up.

_Come outside, I've got a surprise for you._

_-Riku_

I grinned to myself, getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of tight sweatpants and a large sweatshirt. I slipped my slippers on and crept through the house to the back door, I opened it and stepped outside. My eyes grew large.

The ground and trees were covered in powdery white snow, creating a gorgeous almost fairytale-like world. Snowflakes gently fell from the gray sky to the ground and I drew in a sharp, cool breath of air. There was a noise from the other side of the house and I glanced over.

White teeth flashed me a grin and I let out a girlish laugh, covering my mouth with my hand. His hair was covered in snow, making it stick to his head. Dressed in a black sweatshirt and jeans he hurried over, grabbing me and picking me up. I squealed in delight, snaking my arms around his neck. He nuzzled my cheek and I could feel his smile. He kissed me lovingly, holding me there for a few moments before setting me down gently.

"Mornin," He muttered through his lips as he pressed a tender kiss to my forehead.

I smiled widely, "Morning."

We stood there a moment, holding each other a bit longer before I pulled back, my breath visible in the cold morning air. "I...wow. It's so pretty out here." I said softly.

He grinned cheekily, his eyes resting on me, "It is..." I caught his look and rolled my eyes, giving him a playful shove.

"Oh stop."

He shrugged innocently, "Couldn't resist." He teased, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Can't keep your hands off me can ya?" I snickered.

"Nope." He replied easily, winking.

My heart skipped a few beats, he was so charming. But even the so called "perfect" had flaws. And I loved him more for it. I watched in admiration as he walked off the porch and bent down, I tried not to laugh as I let my gaze linger.

He always seemed to know what I was thinking.

"I know, cute butt."

I laughed, propping my elbows on the railing as I rested my chin in the palms of my hands. "Sure." I countered with mock sarcasm.

He glanced back at me and raised his eyebrows suggestively, "You going to deny my charm?"

I smirked, "Maybe."

He pouted picking up a hand full of snow and chucking it at me. I covered my face, grinning, but it fell short. He was about thirty feet from the house, go figure.

"Man..." He whined.

I giggled, "C'mon silly, come home." I called. He dropped the snow he was currently picking up and gave me a dear in headlights look before starting to walk back, I could see he was shivering.

Frowning I let concern wash over me, what if he got sick?

As he got closer I saw his face set in all seriousness, I raised an eyebrow and he stopped in front of me. I peered up at him curiously and he gently took my hand.

"Yeah, home."

_You showed me faith is not blind  
I don't need wings to help me fly  
Miracles happen once in a while when you believe  
You showed me dreams come to light  
That taking a chance on us was right  
All things will come with a little time when you believe - - -_

* * *

_A/N: Well...there. Zarya convinced me to post it. xD What do you guys think of Stevie? Any ways I can improve? Zarya says I'm good at writing Non-Mary Sues. Heh. Review please. _


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